Dating Lessons to be Learned

Authored by Robert Lee of alovelinksplus.com, based on the concepts of David DeAngelo’s “Double Your Dating” ebook

Mom’s are great teachers. They are also nurturers, the one person you can always turn to for support and help with life’s lessons.

Of course Mothers are also wives and they are famous for “Old Wives Tales”, like if you burn yourself put butter on the burn, chewing gum takes seven years to get through your system, fables like that.

So, why do so many guys listen to their Mothers advice about dating? Because believe it or not, Mom’s are right about how a guy should treat a woman, although they do have a natural bias in that they want their sons to treat woman like they ‘wanted’ to be treated themselves when dating, whether they were or not.

Guy’s should open doors and let the woman in first, guys should pull out the dinner chair for a lady to sit on, guys should compliment women, guys should buy gifts for women they really like.

All of this is right. All of this is valid.

Of course, because it’s right and valid doesn’t mean that YOU should do it.

Sure, James Bond scores with women, he’s ‘gentlemanly’ right down to the dictionary definition.

But, and this is a big BUT, if you want to settle down when you’re in your 30’s with a woman that is your third, fourth or fifth choice as a date or romantic interest, who’s losing out here? YOU.

If you were ‘gentlemanly’ throughout your late teens and twenties, did you do well with the ladies? NO. You didn’t and you don’t even know why. There wasn’t a single thing about you that made you different from all the other guys that you were in competition with for the attention of the beautiful women you saw and met. You were nice, you held the door for her, you gave her gifts.

You were entranced by the thought of her having ‘lovey-dovey’ feelings for you just because you felt that way. You respected what she said, you praised her. You set her on a pedestal, so you could only gaze upon her from your lowly pitiful place in the world.

And she recognized this wussy behavior within you. She took your attentions as one would give time to a serf, a slave. She accepted your affections as being rightly hers, the gifts you gave were for her because she is herself, she didn’t want to identify that the gifts were tokens of your love, she took them as ‘being rightly hers’, her just rewards for being herself, smart, beautiful, all the things in your wussiness you told her she was.

You did not have the courage to ask her for a date without first putting some chips on the table, meaning: if I do these things for you, give you these gifts, will you choose me?

And you failed. You want to know why?

Mom was WRONG!

That’s right. She was wrong!

Heck, if you want to finally date the woman you want to date, not leave the choice to the last woman at the bar, the homely one still not drinking at the party, the plain one that would glorify YOU because you spoke to her, that’s your business. But it’s not a happy existence, you’ll always know that you did your second-(or third) best. You never had the balls to talk to the women you really were attracted to. You were so unconfident, so afraid of rejection that you never took the steps, the actions, the methods that all the guys that were successful with women did.

You followed Mom’s advice.

You saw but could not see! You could watch the guys that were winning the dating game but you hardly ever even stepped up to bat to play! You couldn’t imagine playing by the “guy rules” instead of what Mom taught you.

Well, now it’s time to step up to the plate, big bat in hand, learn the “guy’s rules” for dating and slam one out of the outfield.

The methods and rules are called “Cocky and Funny”. This isn’t a program, it’s a way to interact with women, all women, and make them be attracted to you, not the other way around.

Did you know that you can’t force attraction upon a woman? You really can’t MAKE her want you. But, in that microsecond when she’s aware of you, in that part of the cosmic instinctive self where the basic “Fight or Flight” response is set off, you can show her you’re an attractive guy using body language, stance, tone of voice and yes, even some cockiness.

If you want to make a woman laugh, what do you do? You tell her a joke. Which joke? Well, an appropriate joke for the time and place you are in. And especially a ‘cocky’ joke that will make her laugh at herself, that you can tease her with.

When you get past that initial split-second fight or flight response then very next thing that happens if the “Attract or Repulse” instinct. And I am here to tell you that you can make attraction happen in that very small slice of time by being a “Cocky and Funny” man.

Let me give you some examples from emails I’ve answered:

***QUESTION***

Dave,
If it's possible to say this without sounding gay, I LOVE YOU MAN!

I've been getting your letters for quite a while, and I was always kinda skeptical about the stuff you were suggesting because it sounded to good to be true. So I decided to test it out for myself.

Being shy I tried some of the stuff from the online personals e-mail you sent, and man does it work! I sent out 5 messages, and less than 24 hours later I've received 3 replies, 2 of which want to meet me already. This stuff is amazing!

I do have a question though about the one that didn't want to meet right away. She said she's a little nervous about meeting people off the net until she really knows them well. How can I bust her (and girls like her) balls about this? I know that another C+F message would change her mind in a hurry.

To everyone out there... BUY THIS MAN'S BOOK!!! HE IS THE JEDI MACKING MASTER.!
Your humble Padawan
J.

David D Replies:

First of all, NO it's not possible to tell me "I LOVE YOU MAN" without sounding at least a little gay.

Second, congratulations on actually taking action and getting some results.

Third, as for the girl who is a "little nervous" about meeting people off the net until she really knows them, just email her and say:
"OK, why don't we hook up in Vegas and get married, this way we'll know each other well enough for you to want to meet me.
Or, we could just get together in a public place in the middle of the day in broad daylight with a hundred people around and talk over a cup of tea.

I personally like the Vegas idea..."
...or something equally funny. Then get her phone number and call her up. This has a soothing effect in these types of situations.

Make sure when you talk to her to say things like "Let's meet for a cup of tea for 20 minutes, this way if you're really freaky I can escape with minimal time wasted."

This kind of thing is funny, and puts the idea in her head that YOU'RE the one who's picky and selective. Great job!

***QUESTION***

Hi Dave,
I am living proof that a guy cannot get girls based on looks alone. A few weeks ago, my buddy took me to a keg party when I knew absolutely no one. I noticed a very attractive girl checking me out, and later one of her friends introduced me to her, and she was obviously nervous and interested. So I decided to keep my sights on her for the night. At first she would offer to go get me another beer, she would sit on my lap, etc. and I totally blew it. I acted who you would describe "wussy". I complimented her way too much, thinking that this would get me further. I didn't. By the end of the night, she was not at all interested in me. I had no idea what I did wrong until I started getting your newsletters.

A few days ago, I had a blind date with a very cute girl who had a boyfriend at the time, and wanted something new. I decided to take your advice and drop the wussy persona, and go with something new...the cocky/funny gimmick. I kept it up throughout the night, ribbed her, teased her, I did slow movements, talked slowly, paused between sentences, and acted like I owned the place (we were at a restaurant). When I dropper her off at her apartment, I walked her to the door, and she invited me inside! I went it, and we started to kiss. At first I teased her, not letting her have any, and that drove her even more wild! She then asked me to hold on a second, she went to the phone, called her boyfriend, dumped him, hung up, and then she came back over to me! I ended up spending the night, and I'm seeing her again tonight. Thank you Dave! My payment for your ebook is in the mail right now!

J from Barrie, Ontario, Canada

David D Replies:

Ah, insight from the front lines. This one insight that you've described will literally change your success with women forever.

It's hard to "logically" get the concept of how acting like a WUSSY will drive women away, while acting like a "masculine man", busting on a woman, teasing her, playing "hard to get" and other such things can work so well.

But it does. Thanks for the story.

***QUESTION***

Dave,
Here I write once again. I spoke last time of the incredible success I was having, and here I am once again after an INCREDIBLE Friday Night. About seven months ago, I bought the book...but even then I had a few things I was struggling with:

Quick Tips: Works Cited => David DeAngelo

1.) You must go after the "definite major purpose" that Dave talks about. This is NO quick fix. It takes a LOT of time with reframing, learning techniques, etc. Don't be like Oprah and "dedicate" yourself to something (in her case fitness), only to quit. If you throw in the towel, you will not get women and will have to settle with lonely, portly Oprah look-alikes. WHOAHH.

2.) Change must come from within. NO technique will get you where you want to get. You MUST HAVE the self-image to make it happen. The best analogy that I use is this: Take the funniest comedian you know (Seinfeld, Rock, etc) and repeat one of his jokes verbatim to your friends. Why is it that he gets the amount of laughs that he does and YOU don't? Something else is going on. This applies to everything especially GIRLS. There's more going on than just pick-up lines.

3.) Body language, voice tone, no nervous ticks, and eye contact. Powerful.

4.) Have Dave father your children, but be CAUTIOUS folks, he has this "thing" for Brad Pitt. I'm still wondering about you Dave...hehel. If Dave isn't willing to donate his "seeds," then find some friends who "get it" and HANG out with them. Please though, offer no sexual favors.

MY Success Story: This happened tonight at a Chili's in the NY area. My friend who "gets it" told me tonight that he didn't agree with getting a girl's e-mail rather than her number. I said it's better to get BOTH, but he was still disagreeing. I remembered the whole "I'd like a female's opinion on something" and decided I'd give it a shot.

Setting: A crowded bar with lots of people eyeing this set of cute girls. I then walked up, with everyone watching me and approached who I thought was the cutest.

Me: Hi, my friend and I were talking, and we wanted a female's opinion on something
Her: OK
Me: I think that when you first approach a girl you should get her e-mail because it's so hard to reach people these days. My friend, however, thinks that phone numbers are better. My question to you is what do you think?
Her: *Smiling* I like phone number better, it's more personable (She obviously doesn't know about the e-mail, phone number technique)
Me: How old are you? (Like I'm qualifying her)
Her: Older than you...
Me: Let me guess your age...48
Her: *Laughing* No
Me: Ummm....46
Her: 23 (I'm 21, so don't let age slow you down)
Me: Listen, nice chatting, but I gotta run. Write down your phone number.
Her: Ok....**This completely threw me. Her FRIEND then grabbed a pen out of her purse, handed it to her, and looked for a napkin to write the number
Me: How cute...you brought a secretary (referring to her friend)..does she pay you well? Ohh...I see...she buys you drinks.
**At this point, they were both laughing, she handed me the phone number, and I of course had to drill her Me: Is this the number you actually answer..
Her: Yeah...and then she started to hand it to me.
**Her friend then grabbed it from her***

Her FRIEND: Let me make sure this is the number I call...umm...yeah this is it

Dave, I'm currently "talking" to five girls, and LIFE is great. If you don't believe the above story happened, then you don't get it.
GJG, NY, 21

David D Replies:

1. You are a freak.
2. I kind of like it.
3. This is some great stuff. It should be read again by all of those reading this right now.

To sum up, now you know why what Mom taught you is right, and WRONG!
I'm glad you're finally working towards "getting it" after "all these years". I know it took me awhile to figure out all this stuff for myself.

And, of course, if you haven't yet read my eBook "Double Your Dating" and the three bonus booklets that come with it, then you need to start there. It's the basic foundation of everything you'll read in these articles, and it's the place to start. Go to:

(c) 2007 Double Your Dating, David DeAngelo. Article copyright Robert Lee and Cheerful Attitude Web Design Ltd. All Rights Reserved. By accepting and reading this article you agree that: You understand this to be an opinion and not professional advice, it is only to be used for personal entertainment purposes, you are solely responsible for any use of the ideas, concepts, and content and will hold the authors harmless. Article may not be reprinted without express written consent.

Linkss    Link to us    Contact