Waiting for the First Kiss

by Rob Lee, The Advice General
alovelinksplus.com

Dear Rob,
I'm not one to e-mail a perfect stranger and ask for advice but I'm almost to my last straw.

It's the summer before my senior year. I'm soon to be 18 (late birthday for school cut-off) and I've never had a boyfriend nor been kissed.

The only dates I've been on are girls reverse where I've asked the boy out.

I can't figure out what I'm doing wrong or why no one likes me.

I like to think I'm an intelligent and like-able person.

I'm planning on graduating with high honors and have great friends whom I love and love me.

I have great guy friends but none that I could ever really see myself in a relationship with.

I am strong in my religion and I have high morals.

I can only think that's why I scare boys off. Why can't I find a boy who likes me for me.
Help!
The Boyfriend-less Girl.

Hi BFG,

You know what, when it happens it'll happen.
You can't rush love, you can't force the first kiss.... You may feel that this is something that you're missing out on, when in reality this is helping you to better understand yourself, to know who you are without your image being replaced by what someone else thinks of you.
Your morals and understanding of faith are to be treasured, not cheapened by hasty actions just to say that you can finally cross the first kiss off your to-do list.

Let me tell you a story:
There was this guy, 14 or 15. Never kissed a girl, never had so much as a date. He was popular, he knew lots of girls and within his circle of friends he was usually the guy that decided what the group would do.
16 came and went, no first kiss. 17 came and turned to 18. Then 19. No first kiss, no dating. Not because the opportunities weren't there, but because they weren't the right opportunities.

This guy was able to concentrate on himself, not worry about others. And when he was 19, he found the right girl to date. And share that first kiss with.

Did he go to bed every night praying for someone to love him? Sure he did. Ever since he was 14.
But he didn't realize until later in life that all the fooling around his friends did only cheapened their ideas of relationships. When this guy, our hero, started to date, he was truly able to appreciate the girl. It wasn't all about sex and scoring, not like his teenaged buddies were into.

And this moral success has followed our hero to this day. And will carry him forward, always. Our hero took another 17 years to find his true love, his first and only wife, not marrying until 36. Life has a direction that we need to follow, not try to change for the moment.

Don't cheapen yourself by giving away the only real gifts you can give to someone, a part of yourself and your memories, before you are truly ready.

What you seek will happen to you, and when it does, your life will change. But don't rush the change.
Best wishes,
Rob.

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