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By David DeAngelo, Author Of “Double
Your Dating”
***SUCCESS STORY***
Hi Dave,
I've been reading your newsletter for a long time now, have bought the
e-book, the CD series and DVD series, and the stuff just keeps
getting better and better. I've turned several of the guys here in
the office onto your material and they all profess to be "totally
changed" or "a new man" or otherwise similarly positively
transformed.
Anyway, after reading some of the stories in your latest newsletter, I
thought about one technique that I've been using lately, to great
effect.
It started about 5 months ago when I was at the dentist. Basically, I
have this gap between my front teeth that I had never given much
thought to. Well, the hygienist girl, who is totally cute, asked me
if I ever considered "getting it fixed". I said "no. It's part of my
charm. It makes me more attractive. I know you agree." She totally
blushed, and was super nice to me the rest of the time. Well, I
left, didn't want her digits, so I didn't ask. But I thought I'd try
something like this out later to see if it would work.
Jump forward a couple of days to a local art fair... by the way, these
are good places to meet attractive, intelligent 30-something
women... they are also awesome places to bring dates (and mostly cap
on the artwork). The plan worked like this... I picked out the most
attractive, single-looking woman in the room, went up to her and
capped on the sculpture she was looking at, then quickly turned the
conversation around to her, eventually saying "I love your hair, but
I don't usually date smokers". She said "what do you mean? I don't
smoke." I answered, in a cocky and funny way, by saying that I was
sure she did, from the way her teeth looked. Oh yeah, this went
against the "conventional wisdom" that says it's okay to insult a
woman's accessories, but not her natural attributes... anyway, she
got embarrassed, and tried to cap on me about my teeth, something
like "who are you to talk, your teeth aren't perfect." Which was the
perfect set up for "Yeah, but that's part of my charm, it makes me
more attractive. I know you agree." She rolled her eyes said "Oh
brother" or similar... but, two minutes later, I was walking away
with her e-mail. I've used variations on this theme about a dozen
times over the past few months. I think it's absolutely ridiculous,
but it works great. I told one buddy, who has great teeth but a
substantial gut about it, and he used it successfully... capping on
the girl's tummy. I laugh when I think about this technique, but
hey, it seems to work brilliantly.
Cheers,
P in Raleigh
>>>MY COMMENTS:
This is FANTASTIC stuff.
I have a friend who is approaching 50 in age, and who's not exactly
"dashingly handsome". He's not ugly, etc. but it's obvious that he's
not a male super-model either. One of the things he loves to do is
tell women that they're probably not used to getting attention from
unusually good-looking guys like himself... and they eat it up.
Imagine this:
An average guy who's almost 50 years old walking up to a beautiful
woman in her 20s, and then telling HER that she's probably not used
to getting this kind of attention from attractive guys like himself.
It's fantastic.
In marketing, there's a concept called "Brag about your weakness".
When you openly talk and joke about something like this, and even
talk about it as if it were a huge strength, people love it.
Remember the old Avis slogan "Avis is only #2, so we try harder"?
Your email was great... this is good stuff.
***COMMENT***
David,
Well, this is not the average success story, but rather this is
neurological proof your ideas are correct. You say attraction isn't
a choice. You're absolutely right. The brain has two primary
structures that dictate everything that goes on mentally. There is
the rational center, or in medical terms, the neocortex, and there
is the emotional center, the amygdala. The emotional brain does the
things that are crucial for survival. For instance, you see a figure
in the woods that could be a snake and you jump. Your emotional
brain made the move. You see that the object is actually a stick,
you invoke your rational brain, and you mentally and physiologically
calm down.
The lesson is that people don't have rational control over their
emotions, and reason can be short circuited out of the process when
the emotional brain is in control. Furthermore, emotions happen in
response to stimuli. ATTRACTION IS NOT A RATIONAL CHOICE! IT IS AN
INVOLUNTARY RESPONSE!
Another important concept is that emotions lead us to do the things
that ensure the survival of our offspring, such as choosing the best
mates we can. This means that the wuss's genes are not good for
survival as the wuss gets taken advantage of in society. Lesson-
WOMEN AREN'T ATTRACTED TO WUSSIES. WOMEN ARE ATTRACTED TO MEN!
Wussies simply cannot cause an emotional hijacking in women NO
MATTER HOW HARD THEY TRY! Real men can do it WITHOUT TRYING! Women
CAN'T CONTROL THE RESPONSE!
David, you're a master neuroscientist and probably didn't even know
it!
MPM
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well lookey there... I'm smart and stuff. Actually, I've read quite a
few books about this topic myself, and I think you're right on here.
Attraction ISN'T a choice... but men behave as if it is.
Unfortunately, the more you behave as if you can make a woman feel
attracted to you by convincing her, the worse it gets...
Ouch.
Thanks for the validation! And thanks for all the exclamation marks! I
know you mean it!
***QUESTION***
Hey Dave,
I'd first like to say that it sounds like your whole game is on point
and some day I'd like mine to be like that. But anyway's, I try to
follow your tips as much as I can and it has worked but I'm really
interested in this one girl that I met. I call her every other day
or something and every time I call her it seems like she is thrilled
to hear from me and we talked for a while, I go see her at work and
she seems happy to see me. Here's the problem for me, she rarely
ever calls me, we've talked for three months and we haven't went out
on a date. She's never said stop calling me or we never will go on a
date, she just leaves the idea open. I don't know if she leading me
on, playing hard to get or what, but i keep trying because the
anticipation to go on a date is a turn-on. i just need your expert
advice...
J-Las Vegas
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Yea, I've got your expert advice right here...
MOVE ON.
If you'd like to MARRY this particular girl, then keep doing what
you're doing... and you probably have a 1 in 50 chance of getting
her to marry you. But if not, then move on, because you're doing all
the WRONG things, man. As a RULE, women play hard to get. You can
just assume that she's doing it without even asking.
But the worse part of this situation is that you don't understand
what's going on. It's clear to me that you do not understand how
ATTRACTION works, and you haven't the slightest idea how to create
it. Save yourself another three months. Get a copy of my eBook and
Advanced Dating Techniques program. And stay tuned in to these
newsletters. If you don't, you're going to wind up VERY frustrated
in the end.
You must change the way you THINK about this situation. No "magic
technique" will help you.
Step 1: Stop calling her.
Step 2: Start dating other women.
Step 3: Make sure she knows that you're dating other women.
Step 4: Continue to move on with your life.
Ironically, this sequence will create your very best chances of
eventually getting a date with this particular woman. It's still a
SLIM chance, but if you're serious, then this is the way to do it.
***QUESTION***
Dave,
Let me start by telling you, you da man! I really got to hand it to
you, your stuff has given me confidence Ive never had before, and Im
just trying to absorb as much of it into my head as possible. I
really want to thank you for being able to share this stuff with
guys like me and not keeping it to yourself.
There's just one thing wrong with your material: its way TOO CHEAP!!!
Seriously Dave, I think WE'RE ripping YOU off! Thanks to you, I
started to apply the Cocky and Funny in chatting rooms and in the
real world, and it is a hell of a lot better than the Mr. Nice guy
act. However, I use emails and chat to practice my Cocky and Funny
and it is improving. For example, I have one trick I use and it
works on a girl whether she's younger, older, or the same age as me.
I asked one girl her age, and she turned out to be as old as me, 21. I
then replied by telling her "ahh forget it, your too young for me" I
assume that this girl wasnt used to a rejection like this and she
was intent on knowing how old I was. I told her that I was also 21,
and she reacted like most girls do at this part, by laughing and
turning into a stuck up and asking me how she could possibly be too
young for me. I then respond saying something like "I guess your
right, its not your age, you just wouldn't be able to handle me,"
then she reacts like most girls do at this point, continuing to be
even more stuck up and laugh sarcastically, while I tell her that
Ill give her a chance because she wants it so much, and she has 2
minutes to convince me she can handle me. Now this is a great
conversation starter, and while she argues the fact that she can
handle me, I occasionally send her teasing comments like, "honey,
your wasting my time" or "Why are u not entertaining me" or "ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz".
I kind of understood how being Cocky works, and if the girl really
meant the insults she said to me at first, she still wouldn't be
talking to me, right? After doing this to one particular girl, who
turned out to be hot as hell from a pic she sent me, she completely
forgot about being stuck up and told me "ok, Im sorry, lets start
over" this is when I realized I had her in my grasp and I continued
being Cocky but turned it down a notch, was this the right thing to
do? Around the end I asked her for her email and she replied by
telling me she cancelled it yesterday, a terrible excuse. I
persisted and said "yeah sure, just type it down,it'll be ok." she
stuck to her story and I gave up and gave her my email which she
"supposedly" wrote down. Now I know I probably shouldn't of backed
down on her email, but I thought the conversation was going so great
she would actually want me to have her email. Is there something I
did wrong for her to refuse giving it to me, and what other ways
could I make a girl give me her phone # and/or email? Also, you
stress how you should never answer a girls question directly, to
leave her unsure. This happens to be my weakness and I would
appreciate a few tips on this too.
Thanks for everything Dave, your reply would really mean a lot.
W.C.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Great story... and great job. One thing you have to remember about
chat rooms and online IM sessions is that they're great PRACTICE.
Now, I've met some UNBELIEVABLE women on the internet... so don't
get me wrong here.
But don't worry too much about any particular girl... or any
particular situation. She could have had a boyfriend, or even a
husband... and was just online because she was bored... or any of
100 other scenarios. When something like this happens, just move on.
The point is that you're using the internet for a GREAT "practice
environment", and you're training your mind to be Cocky & Funny in
the moment... which begins to translate into the REAL world as you
do it. To answer your question about how to get a girl to give you
her email address and/or number, just do more of what you're already
doing...
Keep throwing down the challenges...
Write back and say "Yea, you're probably not that adventurous".
She'll say "Yes I am!".
Then say "Well, if you were then you would have asked me for my number
and called me already. But you're not. So you didn't...". Keep this
up until she asks for YOUR number. Then, as soon as you hit the
"send" button, IM her again quickly to say "I don't hear my
phone ringing! Hurry up!". You'll love the results you get from this
kind of thing. But be careful. And get LOTS of CURRENT pictures.
Take it from someone who knows... lol... don't just take her word
for it.
***SUCCESS STORY FROM A WOMAN***
David,
I read your newsletters and I am a girl. I am skeptical to buy your
ebook, only because I am not yet ready to admit to myself that I am in
such dire need of dating help even though I am an attractive woman.
Last week, I had a little get together at my house with a few friends
(of the opposite sex). It was no problem getting them there since I
already knew them and I'm sure they came for the free drinks. It was
when they got there that at first I wasn't quite sure what we were
going to do. So we were just sitting in my loft and talking and
drinking some beer when one of them asked me for a massage. So, I said
if you give me a massage first. This worked and I got my massage.
While I was being massaged, I said HARDER!! Put some effort into it!
Come on your are teasing me! The other one was just sitting there
watching this all go down. So after he was done, I switched and gave
the massage. I used my elbow and really really got into it...and I
said "this is the way its done" and after that, when it was his turn,
it was great. They were sooo turned on by it, that he just didn't want
to stop and he didn't even want one back. He kept telling the other
guy behind me how much of an animal I was and bla bla. I just kept
laughing because he had no idea I was using your techniques on him,
and it was working. This is from an EXTREMELY COCKY guy who normally
has the girls on HIM giving HIM the massages. SO, thanks to your
newsletters I have a harness on this guy. He is just my practice
though! I wouldn't go for a guy like him because in my eyes, I'm way
out of his league! He's attractive, but since he fell for it, he's a
dud! It works for both guys and girls Dave. Keep up the good work and
I hope you liked my little example turning things around for once!
I would love to buy your ebook when i get some extra money. Thanks for
all of your helpfulfree tips!!!
L, in Orlando
>>>MY COMMENTS:
OK, this might be a problem. I mean, women taking this stuff and using
it on us guys? Well, I guess it isn't all bad...
I actually enjoy women who use this stuff more than boring,
unimaginative women who just like to stand around and look good.
lol...
In fact, one of the most interesting, fun, and intense experiences a
guy can have is running into a woman like yourself, and having to deal
with the challenge of not knowing where he stands...
I guess the bar is going up. Thanks for your email. By the way, send
pictures next time.
***QUESTION***
Hi David,
You DVD program has made me get up from the sofa and do something
about my love life. No real success yet but I can now see beyond my
fears and actually approach women.
As you recommended I started using the Internet as A 'women
simulator', it's great and I think I'm doing fine with the cocky and
funny stuff. For example, I call my self "too witty for you" and in my
description I write "don't please don't... well OK - are you cute?"
and it works :-) Sadly, I can't give example from the chats since they
are in Hebrew but you know... it's even funnier in Hebrew.
My question is simple: you said to move quickly from the chat to the
phone. Well, do you have a "3 minute phone technique" adopted for the
chats? (the problem is that I can't say something like "I going back
to my friends" like I do in a bar).
Thanks,
U.W. from Israel.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Nice!
Maybe you can work with me soon on the "Ultimate Comprehensive Guide
To Cocky & Funny Online Chat In Hebrew". I answered this question
above, but loved your email so I had to include it. When you're
online, you have to REALLY go the extra mile and EXXXXXAGGGGERATE
everything.
You can't just say "You seem cool, let's talk sometime". You have to
say "You're a pain. I'll bet you can't keep this up live on a
telephone. You're probably too much of a scardey-cat to even TRY
it...". Work it. Try things. You'll find that these kinds of
challenges work VERY well online.
***QUESTION***
I'm only 18 and even look young for my age, I got into this newsletter
while researching about attraction for a college level course I was
taking in High school. I've found out about pheromones, facial and
body symmetry, gestures, colors etc... You're newsletters surprised me
the most. It makes sense to me just reading what you have to say,
realizing that the things you "need to do" aren't seemingly nice or
logical, but they work. Before your newsletters, I thought that I
looked too young or something negative about myself.
But recently, I've had amazing "luck" with girls because of the things
I've learned from you. I had been introduced to a very attractive girl
from out of town a few days ago and have been trying some of your
techniques. I've made eye contact and waited for her to look away
first, been C & F, teased with sexual contact leaving her dumbfounded
and wanting me more etc. etc. All I can say is that it's amazing how
your strategies work, like learning how to ride a bike. This girl just
left back to her home town and is calling me non stop almost every
day. Unfortunately, I can't get to the part where I can buy your book,
the window just closes. I'd love to read it for more information but
if it's possible, could you just send out more examples of great
things you've done so that I'll have more examples of different
situations? I loved the ones you've used of waitresses or at bars, but
what about other places, other conversations that might trigger
different C & F comments? Thanks again!
I-Colorado.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
First of all, if you ever have any kind of trouble ordering something
from me, or problems with the website, just shoot an email to either
questions or support @doubleyourdating.com
One thing I've found out in the last couple of years is that the
internet is FAR from perfect. There are all kinds of strange issues
that come up online, and most of them are little technical things that
can be fixed easily. So shoot in an email if you ever need help.
To answer your question, I think you should take some time yourself
and think through various situations...
Take out a piece of paper, and write "Bookstore" at the top.
Then list 3 different situations:
1) She's reading a magazine
2) She's in the romance section.
3) She's in line at the counter.
Then, under each one, come up with 10 different possible comments you
could make. If you take some time and THINK about it, you'll come up
with all kinds of great stuff. Keep reading these mailbags, you'll get
some killer ideas as well.
***QUESTION***
David,
I've enjoyed your newsletter and have just ordered the DVDs. In
reading the emails, I've thought about what you say in the context of
a relationship I had that ended fairly recently. Sure enough, in the
beginning, I teased and flirted and she ate it up. Then she had an
injury, and I became the caring mate and lost my edge with her, I
suppose. Well, as you can guess, as she recovered, she dumped me. I
wasn't counting on her as being "the one," but she was hot, and I
would have preferred to have it end a little more on my terms.
Here's my question: Any suggestions on how to make her second-guess
her decision. I don't really have much "natural" contact with her
anymore. I don't want her back -- I'll be too busy trying my new
skills out on other women -- but there would be great satisfaction in
knowing that she was having second thoughts.
I look forward to going through the course, not just for the help with
women, but it sounds like there will be other benefits as well.
Thanks.
S in NY
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well, I have some bad news...
The first part of the bad news is that I'm not going to answer your
question. The second part of the bad news is that I'm going to use
your email to make fun of you. The reason I'm not going to answer your
question is that you're BETTER than this. It's WEAK to want to make
someone else feel bad or second-guess themselves.
There's no good reason for it... and it only demonstrates that you're
weak on the INSIDE. The reason I'm making fun of you is because it's a
good way of dealing with the reality of...
EVERY GUY DEALS WITH THIS.
For whatever reason, we humans are a little crazy. We do things and
want things that make no sense. What the hell does it matter if she
second-guesses her decision to leave you? I mean, you don't talk to
her anymore, and she's moving on with her life.
Just move on.
Spend the time that you would have wasted making her feel bad on
IMPROVING YOURSELF. And START with this petty need to have the upper
hand with someone who's not even a part of your life. Look, we've all
been there. Just move on. Like I said, you're BETTER THAN THAT. This
is the weak side of you. Focus on developing strength, so you don't
have a need to do this sort of thing.
***QUESTION***
David,
I ordered your Advanced CD series as part of the three month offer,
and I must say that it has some really good stuff in it. The part
about never answering a direct question is awesome. My birthday was
yesterday, and a couple girls came over with my roommate's girlfriend.
One of them asked me how old I was, so I got a shocked look on my face
and asked, "How much do you weigh?" All the girls busted out laughing
and wouldn't leave me alone the rest of the night. They asked my
brother how old he was (we're twins), and he just said "Same age as
him." Phenomenal stuff.
Anyway, on to my question. One of the girls that was there, the one
that asked me how old I was the first time, is really shy. I've met
her three or four other times, but I realized after last night that I
know almost nothing about her because she rarely talks unless I
directly ask her something. Like last night, when it felt like the
party was starting to wind down and get boring, I decreed that
everyone had to tell one funny story, and I led off with a story about
how I hit another car the first time I took my driver's test. We were
all having a bunch of fun, but when it got to be her turn to share a
story, she said she didn't have any good stories. She's a cute girl,
but it's a turn off that she never takes the initiative. My roommate
says that she's really cool, she just doesn't feel comfortable around
people she doesn't know. So my question is, are girls like this worth
the trouble of breaking through their shell? If so, how do you get
past their shyness? I've used the cocky and funny, and my personal
trick of story telling, but she doesn't seem to respond back. And I
really hate when I share some good stories and get nothing back in
return.
Thanks,
A
>>>MY COMMENTS:
OK, GREAT comeback to "How old are you?". Very nice. By answering "How
much do you weigh?" you said ALL the right things.
This is Cocky & Funny at its best.
Now on to your question...
Here's the deal. Humans LOVE a challenge. It's always amazing to me
how a person will pass up something easy for something that's a major
challenge...
In your case, you obviously have quite a few options in your life in
the female department, but you choose to focus on the shy one who
doesn't respond to you. What's with that?
Remember, some women just aren't interesting on the inside. Some are
too shy. Some are hurt. Some aren't emotionally available. Some hate
men. Some are gay (YES!). Some aren't (NO!). Keep your options open.
If she doesn't respond, move on. Don't make it your personal challenge
to take an uninteresting woman and make her interesting. It's her
issue, not yours. Go find an interesting woman!
***QUESTION***
Your ebook is great. I went on a second date the other day and I used
the "is she ready for a kiss where you stroke her hair first"
technique and it worked like a charm. She actually kissed me. I may
have skipped over this part of the book on accident but anyways, is
there a way to know if a woman has a boyfriend or not? Thanks.
D.B.
Tucson, AZ
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Great job! You know, with all the emails, success stories, and
questions I get, I still enjoy the simple ones the most. When a guy
writes in because he just got his first number from a girl, or his
first kiss, those are the ones that make me the most excited. If you
want to know if a girl has a boyfriend, the first thing to notice is
whether or not she's open to flirting with you. Girls who are "taken"
and "happily taken" at that are usually less flirtatious than women
who are "available".
Now, this is a generalization, and there are a lot of exceptions. But
if you ask a woman for her number, and she gives it to you, then goes
out with you, then kisses you, then she's probably single. If you
REALLY want to know, just ask. I like to look a woman directly in the
eye when I'm first talking to her and say...
"Are you single?"
It's great. Most women don't expect it AT ALL in the beginning, and it
says all the right things. Most guys say things like "You probably
have a boyfriend, huh?". This is WUSSY TALK. It's the same thing that
the last 100 guys have said to her, and it's lame. When you look a
woman directly in the eye and ask "Are you single?" it communicates
strength. Then you can go into the 3 minute email/number technique and
get her information.
...and by the way...
If you're reading this right now, and you are in a place where you
have ZERO success with women, then we need to talk. I think that it's
sometimes hard for guys who have had little or no success with women
to even BELIEVE that it's possible to change, turn things around, and
start dating interesting, attractive women.
Hell, it's even hard for guys who have been MARRIED for a few years
and then divorced to believe that they can "get back in the game".
Well, the GOOD NEWS is that I personally believe that ANY guy can
learn how to be successful with women and dating.
It's not magic... even though it seems like magic if you've never had
success with women in your life. It can be done. But you've got to
take the very first step. It won't happen all by itself. The first
thing you need to do is read these newsletters three times a week.
Next, you need to go download my online eBook. Get it here:
www.doubleyourdating.com/
...and read it, learn it, and use it.
Talk to you soon,
David D.
_____________________________________________________________
Copyright 2003 David DeAngelo Communications Inc., All Rights
Reserved. David DeAngelo and
Double Your Dating are trademarks of
David DeAngelo Communications Inc.
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1999 - 2007 Sheila's Kissing Booth
