Steps to a Teen's First Date

by Rob Lee, The Advice General
alovelinksplus.com

Dear Rob,
I'm 17 years old and am going into my senior year in high school, and I don't know what to do about a girl I like.

I never used to be very social, and she barely even knows I exist. I have never really been one of the popular kids, like she is. I have liked her since grade 6, and I asked her out in grade 8, only to be put down. I've tried so many times to get over her but I'm finding it too hard. I am considering asking her to the movies or something sometime soon, but I don't know how I should go about doing this.

First off, how should I get a hold of her? Asking her on the internet seems kind of stupid, and might make me seem less self-confident. It is what I did in grade 8 which may be why she said no. Is calling her the best way, or asking her in person by going to her house?

Second, if she happens to say yes, how could I go about transportation? I don't have my G2 yet, nor do I have a car anyways. I'd feel pretty humiliated showing up in a cab, but is that what I should do?
I also tend to run out of things to say when I'm with girls. I ask about what music they like, if they have pets, and other things like that, but I still seem to run out of topics. I don't have trouble saying things, only if I already know what it is I want to say.

This isn't a girl that I'm good friends with or anything, I just don't know what I'm feeling and I haven't gone out with a girl since I started liking her back in grade 6. I am finding it so hard to get over her but is that really what I just need to do?

Thanks so much for any help you can give me,
Lonely Boy


Hi Lonely Boy,
You've got to buck up and ask her out. I can understand you liking her for years. And being so close to her in class, in school, seeing her most days must have been brutal on you.

But it is you and only you that has to make the first step.

Maybe as an ice-breaker you can ask her if she has a MySpace page, then you can check that out and leave comments for her to read. Nice things.

You might ask her for some study help for a class test you both have.

If you have after school sports or other activities that you can invite her to come and watch you play/do, then that is also a great opener for you.

Then, meet her again and have a short date somewhere, shopping is best. Leave going to a movie for the second or third date you have with her. Keep things simple, activities that you both can do together.

Heck, it's been years since you've talked to her... geesh, maybe you need to work on your confidence a little, eh?

Ask your mom or dad about their first dating experiences, how to ask her out, etc. With their help you may be able to arrange for them to give you rides. But if a cab is the solution, so be it. Better than picking her up on your skateboard or bike, right?

Always have a plan when starting conversations. And keep in mind that people prefer to talk than listen, so if you become a great listener, asking questions that people like to answer, questions that need more than a yes or no to reply to, then you'll become popular in your own way.
Never ask for a date through IM, or email unless it's like the 5th or 6th date.
You need face-to-face communication to ask for the first few dates.
And if she says no, ask a different girl. Jealousy works well with teen girls and if she sees the fun she's missing out by rejecting you and the success you're having with other girls, she'll quickly line up to date you.
Best Wishes,
Rob.

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